Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Bullying

We hear a lot about bullying and how bad it is these days. I recall two occasions as kid when I was a bully. Both were relatively minor , were of less than a few hours duration , were both apologized for without prompting from outside and  both make my face red with shame. I hope that those were the only time I was such an asshole.

This comes to mind after i happened to run across the name of someone on facebook who now that a ton of memories have come flooding back I realize bullied me.

 Certainly never apologized for and went on for  few months , long enough that I now realize had a devastating effect on not only my time in high school but my life ever since.

I'm sitting here now having an anxiety attack just thinking about that time. I was systematically separated from my friends ,beat up once and "accidentally hurt" 2 or 3 times in Gym class by this person.

Already having a problem fitting in thanks to the ADHD I now realize I was isolated and at the same used by this "Friend" and some others at this time. In the case of some of the others it was due no doubt to the bullies constant bullshit and my obvious weakness.

Like discovering I have ADHD this is going to take some time to process.

I FUCKING HATE how I'm feeling right now.

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