Things I DON"T Dig

My own response to my Things I dig post.

1. Diabetes. 
2. Depression
3. Anger
4. ADD
5. Tinnitus 
6. Road Rage
7. Soft Rock
8. Donald Drumpf
9. Politics
10. Drivers who don't signal.
11. Spring when it acts like winter. 

Bullying

We hear a lot about bullying and how bad it is these days. I recall two occasions as kid when I was a bully. Both were relatively minor , were of less than a few hours duration , were both apologized for without prompting from outside and  both make my face red with shame. I hope that those were the only time I was such an asshole.

This comes to mind after i happened to run across the name of someone on facebook who now that a ton of memories have come flooding back I realize bullied me.

 Certainly never apologized for and went on for  few months , long enough that I now realize had a devastating effect on not only my time in high school but my life ever since.

I'm sitting here now having an anxiety attack just thinking about that time. I was systematically separated from my friends ,beat up once and "accidentally hurt" 2 or 3 times in Gym class by this person.

Already having a problem fitting in thanks to the ADHD I now realize I was isolated and at the same used by this "Friend" and some others at this time. In the case of some of the others it was due no doubt to the bullies constant bullshit and my obvious weakness.

Like discovering I have ADHD this is going to take some time to process.

I FUCKING HATE how I'm feeling right now.

ADHD Support Group

I joined an adult ADHD support group. The first meeting was incredible! walking into a room with 30 other people who's life experience is so similar to yours was amazing!

Early days but i think it will make a real difference in my life.

ADHD

ADHD has been on my mind a lot lately. Well that and 100000+ other things but i do keep coming back to the ADHD. The medication I'm on (VyVanse) is helping.  I spent all of Friday and Saturday at home cleaning and reorganizing . I made HUGE strides in the living room ,office and dining room and good progress in the kitchen and my bedroom.  The Bathroom is now very Clean too :) . At work Sunday i did work that would have taken about 7 hours before in 3. tedious work BTW. REALLY Tedious .  Still have irritability problems especially at work and still procrastinate. And I'm definitely impulsive sometimes. Hopefully at some point I can get past all that , I'm looking for a coach now . So expensive but hopefully worth it. tricky though. the one i liked after talking to her turns out to have abandoned a fellow ADDer i met Monday half was through her sesssions and has not paid her back or completed the sessions 4 years later. I'll be looking elseware.

I also joined a Adult ADHD support group. Wow 30 people in that same room as me with almost all of the same issues and challenges. I was euphoric leaving the meeting . Looking forward to more .

Found out that i can NOT have more than a beer or two at a time.  Very adverse emotional effects . This turns out to be a good thing. Far less embarrassing for sure!


Not the most coherent post but all I have for now .  Far more on my mind but it will have to wait.